Not you, Melissa, you're never getting molested.'
'You know what happens to little girls who wear shorts that short? A white van picks 'em up and they get all their holes resized.
'I may not have eyesight, but I have vision!' Then all of the cans he stacked on the shelf fall down on him. Action Man mistakes his reflection in a mirror for an armed intruder, turns to alcohol and drugs to relieve his pain, and ends up hanging himself. It's also bloody hilarious! The video takes the form of three fake commercials for Action Man toys based around the consequences of military service, complete with cheery announcer, exciting music, and kids having fun inflicting various misfortunes upon the Action Man toy: PJ getting killed followed by Mor- sorry, AWACS Thunderhead being revealed as the perpetrator, who was just trying to get them to 'cut the chatter'? Hilarious overkill. Jerod: You'd better gift ten subs, fricker, all right? Jerod: 'One hundred dollars says that's his mom', FRICK YOU!
